The Queen Ain’t Comin’

I’m Bo Lumpkin and I’ve Been Thinkin’.

Earlier this week my sister called me to say that she and my other three sisters were coming to see me the next day.  My wife and I were both excited to hear this good news.

There was a time when I was not quiet as excited to have company coming. I knew that it meant work.  I never have minded work but it usually meant needless work.

My wife keeps a clean house all the time but when she would hear company was coming she would decide it was time to have an all out cleanin’ blitz.  Movin’ things around, findin’ dirt that couldn’t be seen and wasn’t botherin’ anyone. She got past the point of cleanin’ to a point where she was just wipin’ stuff that was already clean.

She didn’t let it end there.  What we usually had in the cupboard was not good enough for company. No off brand snacks.  No store brand colas.  No generic coffee.  Why?  Because we are having company.

She always tried to prepare as if the Queen was comin’ for a visit.  I can’t count the times that I have told her, “Lighten up.  The queen ain’t comin’.”

I think she has come to a realization that the Queen ain’t comin’.  Now a quick pick up, a run over the carpets with the vacuum cleaner and the inevitable “You have got to do somethin’ with your office.”

I guess she realizes that they are comin’ to see us and in all the years we have had company no one has ever given us a white glove inspection. Who knows, one day the Queen might drop in for a visit.  I sure hope she likes generic coffee.

Do any of y’all get all in a tiff when you are havin’ company?


About Bo Lumpkin

I like to write, draw, and read and do funny stuff.
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15 Responses to The Queen Ain’t Comin’

  1. Susan says:

    you know my philosophy is “come on in, ‘scuse the mess, help yourself and welcome to it”

  2. There was a day when I might have cleaned “pretty good” for company, but now my husband and I do a quick blitz on the rooms they will be in, and that’s good enough for us. My mother still thinks she needs to clean for the queen (love that) when someone other than her kids are coming to visit.

    • Bo Lumpkin says:

      I am willing to pick up the clutter in the living areas. Our kitchen is usually clean because I always clean up after I cook and so does Gloria so that is not a problem. My creative area is usually very cluttered and I think the solution to that is to just keep the door shut and not let anyone in there.

  3. Binky says:

    I think that was pretty common in the past. I think the younger people are, the less they care. I hope you’ll put out the good wine gums if I come a calling.

    • Bo Lumpkin says:

      I have never seen wine gums but I will make sure I have plenty of chocolate for you when you come. I might even get name brand for you. That Hersheys is good stuff.

  4. My wife is all about cleaning before company. Hell she cleans before the cleaning people show up.

    • Bo Lumpkin says:

      Gloria used to be like that too but she has lightened up a lot. As you get older I think you begin to realize that some things are just not as important as you used to think they were.

  5. I’m like that a bit (in that I like to make sure everything is put away / there aren’t random piles of clutter laying about), but it generally doesn’t bother me too much if I haven’t had a chance to scrub every inch of our apartment. Usually, anyway.

  6. ltpen315,barb says:

    Clean and neat ARE 2 different things. With me you just take your chance on neat!!

  7. mskatykins says:

    Oh yes, I can relate to this! I’m not a tidy person. I’m relatively clean, but not tidy. When folk are coming to visit, the cleaning/tidying needs to be done, although probably not to the same thorough extent as your wife’s standards! Is she free to pop round and clean my digs? 😉 Hope you enjoy(ed) the company in the end! 🙂

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