IT’S A DOG’S WORLD

IT’S A DOG’S WORLD

Bo Lumpkin

I seem to have a special likin’ for dogs.  Most of them do me a personal favor and like me back.  Every once in a while I might run into one of those mean ones that don’t like anybody but not too often.

Maybe I like dog’s so much because I was one for a while. Well, I wasn’t actually a dog but I did spend some time in a dog suit.  Snoopy to be exact.  I was a route salesman for Dolly Madison Cake company and sometimes to make extra money I would dress up in a Snoopy outfit and promote our product in large supermarkets.  It wasn’t too bad of a gig.  They paid me $35 a day, which was more than I made several years later as a substitute teacher.

My most memorable adventure in a dog suit was on a hot summer day in Memphis in front of our newest super sized Supermarket.  It was close to 100 degrees outside…outside of the dog suit I mean.  It was probably 125 degrees inside the suit.  It is tough standing in the sun covered in fur with a gigantic styrofoam head that you can’t see out of very well.  The heat was only part of the problem because obviously whoever had worn the suit before me had worked on a hot day and they had pretty much used up their deodorant if they had been wearing any.

Besides the discomforts there were dangers.  Children can be cruel to animals, even animals who are not real and are 4 times their size.  They like to kick big dogs and pull their tails and it is just not good for business to growl and bark at them.

I guess the funniest thing that happened to me during my dog days was the Doberman.  He was sitting in the passenger seat of a fancy car, sittin’ up all proud and actin’ like he was bein’ chauffeured when they rode by. He didn’t see me at first but then he casually glanced my way, looked back forward and then did a triple take that should have given him whiplash.

He then turned toward me and began to bark and slip automatically into attack mode.  I am glad the window was rolled up. If he had made it out of that car it would have caused some terrible traffic accidents because I would have been runnin’ down the street in a Snoopy suit faster than a greyhound.

Yep, I love dogs.  I just don’t think I ever want to be one again.

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About Bo Lumpkin

I like to write, draw, and read and do funny stuff.
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15 Responses to IT’S A DOG’S WORLD

  1. I smiled all the way through this, Bo. What a great job to work with CAKES to begin with, and then to get to dress up as Snoopy (!), how fun was that! The doberman and Snoopy running down the street is a good visual. 🙂

  2. Red says:

    See, I would have had no compunction barking at ill-behaved children. Think that is why I did not get the job? *grins*

  3. Binky says:

    That was pretty funny, Bo! I don’t know if any of it is true or not, but it sure makes a good story. I really like dogs, too, but I don’t think I’d like to be in one of those suits n the summer.

  4. Hahaha… sounds like a pretty harrowing adventure, Bo!
    Did you get any sudden urges to chase around folks in cat-suits?!
    🙂

  5. I liked being a character escort at Disney. The only job you could yell at stupid kids

  6. Tony McGurk says:

    Do you have a Snoopy photo of yourself to post Bo???

    • Bo Lumpkin says:

      Sorry. That was before digital cameras and if I could have afforded to have pictures developed I wouldn’ have been all day in a Snoopy suit for $35. 🙂

      ________________________________

  7. ltpen315,barb says:

    What a funny story!! Great visual of Snoopy and a snarling attack dog!!

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